Sports Views

And, finally, I PREDICT … that the following will occur: Alfonso Soriano will play for the Nationals - AS THEIR CATCHER; Mike Piazza will play center field for the Anaheim Angels - and will then be traded to the Milwaukee Brewers for DANNY KOLB; Brad Ausmus will hit 40 home runs - IN THE HOME RUN DERBY; David Ortiz will steal 30 bases - BY THE ALL STAR BREAK; Julio Franco outhits Carlos Delgado, THEN DIES of a heart attack in October caused by his wife, Anna Franco; Larry Bowa will be accused of poisoning Joe Torre, but the culprit will be DON ZIMMER; Sidney Ponson will pitch his team to the League Championship Series; and, not least but last, Mark Prior will win 20 games - IN ONE MONTH!

Did the white sox not look incredible while winning their first series since 1914? In a series billed as the best offensive team in the AL versus the best pitching in the AL, the real story was white sox manager Ozzie Guillen. Forget Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz. Forget Paul Konerko and Juan Uribe. The series came down to Ozzie Guillen. The man was the head of a team that has the perfect combination of power, speed, small-ball, fielding, and the key to their win today...pitching. If the white sox can manage to win it all this year, which playing in their current state of mind, is very possible, we should all look back on one moment in game three of the ALDS as the key to a championship run.

He and David Ortiz are fairly close in their hitting stats (.321/.421/.610 for Rodriguez vs. .300/.397/.604), but in a close race I am giving the nod to the position player who fields his position well rather than the designated hitter. Others on my ballot: Ortiz, Vladimir Guerrero, Johan Santana, Miguel Tejada, Mark Teixeira, Michael Young, Travis Hafner, Mark Buerhle, Jason Giambi.

So, yeah: for the next month, all I have to look forward to is spending time with the specially abled folks at E$PN and telling drunk fat gambling-addict slobs the difference between a curveball and the f*cking nuts they’re scratching. Nothing makes the Bushmills go down quicker and sweeter than having some Vanilla Ice-looking jerk in a Men’s Warehouse hand-me-down ask me what I thought about David Ortiz and his fat head, or f*cking Ageless Steroid Poster Boy Roger Clemens and his close personal friend Jesus F*cking Pettite, or Those Surprising And F*cking Stupid Racist Cleveland Indians, or (f*ck me) the chance that the San Diego Bismarcks have of not sh*tting themselves stupid for three whole games.

Saturday’s game, which I did not attend, sucked. The Sox got their asses kicked, and it was another painful reminder of just how far this team has to go before its pitching is ready for post-season play. Bronson Arroyo, Jon Papelbon and Jeremi Gonzalez were the culprits. Offensively, the Sox were once again quite good as they plated 8 runs. Problem was, they gave up 14. David Ortiz and Trot Nixon homered.

Horrible series, only one win. That was Friday night, and it was 17-1. It appears that while we can easily crush the Yankees they can’t crush us, the wins they got were really small and narrow wins. Johnny Damon extended his hitting streak to 29 games, lets hope he can keep it up and beat the 56 game hitting streak set by Joe DiMaggio back in 1941 with the Yankees. Curt wasn’t in at all this weekend, which I felt the Sox should’ve put him in on Friday with the 17-1 game, even if he let up a couple of hits it wouldn’t have been that devistating, but that’s just me. I really want to see Alex Cora and Adam Stern play more, Cora should take over for Mark Bellhorn on second base, despite Bellhorn hitting a home run the other night, he generally just can’t hit, and he does a decent job at second base but I think Cora would be great there. While I like David Ortiz, I think Stern should at least pinch run for him all the time, but I don’t know if that’s actually something they could do without making Stern the DH. Hrmm. I’ll have to look into that.

My brother and I are always talking about David Ortiz and how he has smoked the Yankees the last couple of years. One thing we have noticed is that Ortiz is nice and relaxed at the plate. Why? Because for whatever reason, not a single pitcher would throw inside to this guy. And I’m not talking on the inside part of the plate. I’m talking about inside enough that it puts Ortiz on his big butt.

Life is pretty good when an April game gets rained out and there’s a make-up on a beautiful Thursday afternoon in June and you don’t have a job, so you don’t have to worry about skipping work, and you go to the park and you sneak in a bag of nachos and salsa, then later, grab a dog and find a condiment table that actually has pickle spears (fucking FREE-ass pickle spears at Fenway), then get to watch David Ortiz hit a walk-off three-run homer to win it with two outs in the bottom of the ninth. Yeah.

Yes, let's put the blame on urban black culture, which must be the ONLY placd David Ortiz has heard misogynist language in his life, and harken back to the days of "pre-hip hop" baseball when sexist comments were never made.

DH David Ortiz (.284/.367/.588) Deserves All-Star bid soley on name: Big Poppi

In the bottom of the ninth, however, David Ortiz walked. Kevin Millar, who had hit a ninth-inning walk-off game-winning homer the previous night flied out to left field. Up walked catcher Jason Varitek who promptly poled the game winner just inside the Pesky Pole in right field for the perfect ending to my first Major League Baseball game.

And I hope that the World Baseball Classic doesn’t inherit any traits of the World Cup of Soccer because I would really hate to see “Big Papi” David Ortiz rip off his jersey while running the bases after a home run.

Here's today's (yesterday's, but who's looking at the clock?) Boston Globe article on the latest Boston/Tampa Bay brawl. I was just reading along thinking my usual "who cares" kind of thoughts until I read about David Ortiz lecturing about respect and ethics on the field. David Ortiz??? Excuse me, but didn't he throw a bat at an ump last year? Yes, her did and he got suspended, but not much.

I spent the best weather night of 2005 in the front row of the green monster seats at Fenway Park for an excellent game, the type you can easily recall years later because of the principals involved. In the summer of 2003, I was fortunate enough to take in a classic pitcher’s duel at Dodger Stadium between Mark Prior and Kevin Brown with the difference in the game, a Cubs win, being two Sammy Sosa home runs. Prior, Sosa, Brown. Well last night, Roy Halladay peppered the strike...

While it would be easy to give the next great baseball player to a favorite team, it wouldn’t make it necessarily right, though Albert Pujols and David Ortiz would fit the bill very nicely. However, there has also been Ichiro since he went for the hit record last year.

When it mattered most, Curt Schilling was accountable in the way few people ever are, let alone athletes--the way heroes are. That's what it's about. Accountability. Responsibility. Get on my back, I'll do it, I'll do whatever it takes. David Ortiz is a hero in the same way.