Sports Views

So, yeah: for the next month, all I have to look forward to is spending time with the specially abled folks at E$PN and telling drunk fat gambling-addict slobs the difference between a curveball and the f*cking nuts they’re scratching. Nothing makes the Bushmills go down quicker and sweeter than having some Vanilla Ice-looking jerk in a Men’s Warehouse hand-me-down ask me what I thought about David Ortiz and his fat head, or f*cking Ageless Steroid Poster Boy Roger Clemens and his close personal friend Jesus F*cking Pettite, or Those Surprising And F*cking Stupid Racist Cleveland Indians, or (f*ck me) the chance that the San Diego Bismarcks have of not sh*tting themselves stupid for three whole games.